Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Female Fans. 'An Excerpt...'

This is from an upcoming article I'm doing.

I figured I'd indulge you in a little aperçu...

When guys asked me, and still do, who my favourite players are, I tell them. If a player is remotely good looking, they assume that I like them solely based on looks. Now, while that argument does hold some truth, it is not the sole reason why I like a player. I like them based on their performance on the ice and off the ice (minds out of the gutter people). I’m talking charity, giving back, being a genuine class act. That being said, who are my favourite players, you ask? Well, since you asked so nicely I’ll indulge you…

Brad Richards – yes, setting aside his devilish good looks, he is really a talented player. Have you seen this man pass a puck? It’s a thing of beauty. I could watch video of him passing the puck for hours. He’s a humble guy, team player, and a fantastic giver-backer. Yes, that’s the technical term. +1 for charity! +1 for being able to pass the puck dead on backwards!

John-Michael Liles (Toronto) – again, yes he’s good looking. But the man is solid on D. Solid. A great play maker and knows when to step up and when to stay back. Again, he’s a great community presence in the Denver and now Toronto community. He, like Richards, did a charity event only minutes after he signed with the Leafs. Keepin’ it classy. Plus he’s ridiculously funny and watches “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. +1 for ‘hashtag JML’. And did you catch his hair last season? SICK. Give that man another +1!

Henrik Lundqvist – No explanation needed here. The man OWNS the net. + infinity, cause he’s Henrik Lundqvist!

And last but not least Mark Stuart (Winnipeg) – I remember watching him play while he was in Boston. I liked his style of play. He’s not afraid to put his body in front of the puck, and he’s not afraid to use his size and strength to win battles in the corners. When he’s on the ice, his physical presence is felt. He’s also an amazingly humble guy with awesomely epic taste in music. +1 for being my musicsoulmate!

Now I was curious. Does that classify me as a girl who likes the game solely for the players’ good looks? After several cups of coffee I came to the realization that it does not. I’ve never referred to myself, in person or on the internets as ‘Mrs Richards’ or ‘Mrs Liles’ as I’ve seen many people do. I’ve not photoshopped myself into a photo with them. The closest I’ve come is putting someone’s number at the end of my screen name or a password. I’ve never chased down a player to get an autograph to only slip them my number. I have, however, joked about blindfolding Brad Richards (solely for the purpose of seeing if his passing is really that good), and kidnapping Roman Polak… But it was all in good fun. And frankly, if anyone is strong enough to wrestle down the Polak Bear, tie him up and ship him to me, they can do it, but I wish them much luck and a speedy recovery. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good swooning every once in a while, but taking it to the point where I watch hockey only for the ‘hotness factor’ will never come. But I won’t lie, it does make for watching the interviews that much better…

Stay tuned for the complete article...

I would have played caddy...

This was just a suggestion....

Being a golfer, I would have been happy to join the Rangers at their golf outing yesterday. With my 18 holes of experience at an AIG Golf Tourney in 2008 (go ahead, insert an AIG joke. I'll wait...... done? okay, good.) and my vast mini-golfing experience would have made me a prime candidate for being a caddy.

Our whips for the day... notice the precision parking?

Just incase you needed legit proof, I'm Michelle Milne. Or was.

Plus, I's a super excellent golf cart driver. Lead foot.

But, since the Rangers heard about my golf-cart mishap (really, who keeps the carts on the paths? Sand traps are so much more fun, as are the ponds) I was asked to stay as far away as possible. Which made Marty Biron so happy...

Apparently, Dubinksy was relegated to being the ballboy.


and, of course, I couldn't leave this post without a BR shot...

2 minutes in the penalty box

I had a dream last night that I turned it into a 2 minute web series.

Genius.

Make it happen' Cap'in.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

5 Things You Never Knew About Me...

1. I speak 3 languages. Fluently. English, French, Czech, and I don't count Russian since mine is really rusty. Rustier than the Titanic.

2. I played the violin for 10 years.

3. I've read War and Peace. For fun. Cover to cover. In Russian. And understood it.

4. I have an obsession with even numbers. It's sick. So sick in fact that I can't list a 5th thing.

Monday, October 10, 2011

My Brain Would Not Shut Off...

Last night, I was up until 3:30 this morning. I had every intention of going to bed at a respectable 12:45am. But my brain, well, it had other plans.

I must've worked on writing too late at night. All these thoughts raced through my head about blogs. It was crazy. I almost thought about breaking out the Dragon Dictator on my iPhone, but the thought of speaking into it in a dark room kind of creeped me out. Not to mention, anytime I use it my accent makes for some funny sayings. Then I thought, if there was a way to harness my brain power and record what was going on... well, that probably isn't the best idea. For all of man-kind. What goes on in my head, should be filtered. Then I thought maybe I should keep a notepad and pen by the bed. But papercuts are a bitch.

I remembered most of what was going on. I had a brilliant idea for a 'Size vs Skill' blog post, and had some pretty awesome one-liners. One was about the Leafs harnessing the blue eyes of 'hashtag JML' and that it would only work if the opposing forwards were pre-pubescent girls, or Sidney Crosby. It was funnier in my head, I swear. It lost some of it's 'je ne sais quoi' over night.

What did I learn?

To not drink coffee at 11pm.

Or keep a white board by my bed. Less papercuts.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Muscle from Ostrava. Or as I Like to Call Him, My Little Poley Bear.

Little is a misnomer.

A large Czech misnomer. One that could knock you down merely by sighing too hard.

I kid you not.

Okay, I may have overdramaticized his strength. But seriously, he's fierce. And I mean that in the most masculine way. Not how Tyra means it. 'Cause even though I'm not a betting (wo)man, I can almost bet you that Roman Polak does not smize with his eyes.



You hear that folks? He has a massive upper body. Massive.



Beastly.

And he, amazingly, looked scared when he overheard Jen and Diane plotting to kidnap him to mail to me...
photo courtesy of Jen Krechel & Diane Ruff

That is the look of pure fear. Or he had gas. Your guess is as good as mine....

An Ode to the Rangers Goalies.

First there was JD.

Then John Vanbiesbrouck.

Then Mike Richter.

And now, since 2005-2006 season, we're blessed with this:


Oh my-lanta.

If you're sitting here reading this and asking yourself 'who is that fine looking man?' I pity you.

This, my dear friend, in Henrik Lundqvist. Super Goalie. Complete with a cape and sporting underwear on the outside of his pantalones.

...


Ok, now besides his obvious good looks, the man is beyond talented in the net. Unreal. Stellar. Awe-freaking-some.

Proof:


Still not convinced? I'm sorry, here's another:



And proof that he likes to eat ice cream, just like any other human. Out of a cone. With a spoon.


Friday, October 7, 2011

I could watch this for hours.

One person should not be so gosh-darn cute.

Really. It's Lethal.

I know, typical girl response. But have you seen this man pass a puck?! That is a thing of beauty. Need more proof? check here at :51. No look pass.

I'd like to blindfold him (insert bad joke here) and see how dead on he really is. With passing the puck.


#GoNYRangers

Trend it.

You know you want to.

Do it.

#GoNYRangers

While you're on Twitter, be sure to follow me and these fantastic Ranger Family.

@jcutroni
@theNYRBlog
@NYRnation
@TheWrage

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

#brownbeaut

No, I promise it's not a toilet joke. Although it could make a good one.

#brownbeaut refers to Mike Brown. Of the Maple Leafs.

Who?

Yeah, that's what I said too at first.

Well folks. Meet Mike Brown.

I could copy verbatim his stats from wikipedia, but alas, I am lazy and frankly don't feel like typing that much crap on here. So, here's the link for you to check out.

He's a forward with a mustache that has a life of its own. Apparently he is also Chuck Norris-esque.

Now, without further adieu, here are some of my TOP10 favourite #brownbeaut facts:


10. @TMLGreek #brownbeaut Mike Brown doesn't cut hit grass.... He simply stands on his porch & dares it to grow! #fact #beastmode

9. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, Mike Brown can hear it #brownbeaut

8. matthewbacola Did you know Mike Brown had a role in Star Wars? He was the force. #brownbeaut

7. JFlem20 @Bozie42 Mike Brown won american idol using only sign language #brownbeaut

6. @pitchawk: Mike Brown urinated in a semi-trucks gas tank as a joke.. that truck is now known as Optimus Prime #brownbeaut” unreal!

5.
@FazooliBarMan Mike Brown has counted to infinity .... Twice #BrownBeaut

4. chelleyschoe @Bozie42 Mike Brown can see the end of an infinity pool #brownbeaut

3. @kphillips_81 Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Mike Brown beats all 3 at the same time!

2. @ghowes12 its said if the power of a mike brown hit could be harnessed it would power all of australia for a year #brownbeaut

and my personal favourite...

1. @mkomisarek: mike brown's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because mike brown will not take sh*t from anyone. #brownbeaut



I have to admit, it was hard to pick which ones were the best, and more kept trending as I worked these in.

Awesome entertainment for the night. Awesome.

A shoutout to @armdog for making Mike Brown the Chuck Norris of #leafsnation

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Let Me Sharpen Your Shovel, Torts....

I don’t want to jam up Sean here - I think we have better players than Sean Avery, plain and simple,”

The players that are here are better than Sean Avery,” Tortorella reiterated. “ Maybe not in the role or a couple instances Sean could help us in, but they’re more versatile in a lot of different areas."

I’m trying to do this the right way, because I do not wanna keep on shoveling dirt over Sean Avery, but we have better players than Sean Avery, right now on the hockey club.



Allow me to sharpen your shovel so you can keep piling on the dirt...

Adios Sean Avery...

Let's take a look at some spectacular moments from the one and only, Sean Avery.



He's such a class act... he really is. Sloppy Avery, anyone?

Remember this gem? Again, notice how he takes the high road.

What did Giroux do to you? Putting a mic on Avery = not the best idea.

He's also an expert on French Canadians. Really. He is.

and an expert in dentistry?

Thanks to Lisa G., she reminded me of his utmost respect for goalies. And the backs of their heads. Maybe he was testing out the helmets absorption of a blow to the head?

And above all, a man who respects his fans...



So, who wants him to stay in New York?

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Today Show has failed me...

Why KLG and Hoda? WHY?


I had it on for all of about 1 minute, then I started feeling woozy, nauseous and dumb. In effort to preserve some of my braincells and sanity, I turned it off. I then watched paint dry. It's much less toxic and far more interesting.

A week filled with the Kardashians as co-hosts. While I normally enjoy my 10 o'clock hour in the am, I will not be watching this week. I can't stomach 5 days of the Kardashians.

I must find something to occupy my lost hour of the day. Maybe I'll take up shuffleboard. Or Full-Contact Crocheting.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Cameraman fail

Who thinks he got fired after this epic videography?

Or maybe he doesn't like Darius Rucker?

Narcolepsy on the job?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Coffee at 1030pm = insomnia and youtube discoveries

This Club.

At first listen, I wasn't too impressed. They have almost a Dave Matthews like quality to their songs. All of the beginnings of their songs sound similar. But I listened to this one first, the whole song. Tell Your Mother. I was quite impressed with their vocal abilities, especially acoustically. The lyrics appear to be all over... it went from Telling your mother something, to doing shit early in the morning. I was slightly confused. But if you don't really pay attention to the lyrics, the music is okay.

I then listened to You Dont Have to Cry... which I wanted to do after listening to the song. Again, if you don't listen to the actual lyrics, the music is good. And their vocal talents are there, they just need lyrics that make sense. I had to stop after this song. While this song's lyrics made more sense, I just couldn't get into it.

I gave it the ol' college try though. I really did.

Now I'm going to tell your mother that you don't have to cry early in the morning cause I do shit then.

Little Scottish Kids Scare Me.

Proof
Epically awesome song, except for the creepy Scottish kids.

This rendition of the song is much less scary. And it's nice to see the drummer make use of kitchen utensils - egg shaker and whisk. #gogokitchengadgets

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Random Fact Wednesday.

1. I LOVE even numbers.
2. I LOVE counting numbers, memorizing numbers...
3. I LOVE driving in traffic, the more traffic, the better.

Yes, I am fully aware that I am odd...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

snake.

While I love this song, this is what I imagine a seizure is like. Or perhaps tripping on some bad acid. either way the video is creepy and headache inducing. but I love the song!

Why Does God Make it So Easy?

There are so many responses that I could give to this...a

Mike Modano
Whatever crawled up it bury it in there..


I don't know which is funnier, him or Jose Canseco and his obsession with his stripper ex-girlfriend.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Top 5 Monday. Why not start the week off right?

Top 5 Current NHL players:
5.Roman Polak - STL aka The muscle from Ostrava
4. Chris Porter - STL
3. Mark Stuart WPG aka my musicsoulmate
2. JML - TOR
1. Brad Richards - NYR

Top 5 Songs on my iPhone:
5. Manchester Orchestra - I've Got Friends
4. Jason Aldean - Dirt Road Anthem
3. Frightened Rabbit - Modern Leper
2. Story of the Year - I'm Alive
1. Frightened Rabbit - Foot Shooter

My Top 5 People that I Like to See Tweet:
5. @thenyrangers
4. @jdb820 - purely for his American angst. and he's American.
3. @BRichards_1991 just cause he's Brad Richards.
2. @CaughtOffBase cause she's f'ing hysterical. PS: Watch her show.
1. @kassassination purely for the fact that he hates roosters. and kills them with Gnomes.


If you'd like to ask me a Top 5 question, leave a comment on here, email me, find me on Twitter. You can also find me on Facebook, and if you're stuck in the early 2000's I probably still have an active AIM account or MySpace somewhere in the interwebs.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

RIP Common Sense

Seriously folks.

The ability to copy and paste should not be granted to those that lack common sense.

Really, if Facebook is going to start charging us to use it, don't you think it would have made NATIONAL news, since everyone and their mother (including my own mother) use Facebook?!

This is the original 'status update' that circulated the Facebook community to warn us of impeding charges:

IT IS OFFICIAL. IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON, IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY


Here is my 'slightly tweaked' version:

Facebook just released their new Membership charges - $9.99 for IDIOTS, $6.99 CROSS-EYED PEOPLE, $3.99 for special dribbly people, but it's free if you post a pic of yourself with a homemade foil hat and underwear on, goggles and most importantly swimming armbands (DO NOT FORGET THE ARMBANDS) by midnight tonight. When you sign in tomorrow, you will be prompted for your star sign. It is official, it was confirmed by my friend's, wife's, brother's cousin, who heard it from his nurse in the special hospital - also confirmed by the voices that speak to him personally! These charges are all due to the new changes. If you post your pic, your icon will turn blue (AS IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN), and FB will be free for you, and as a bonus you will also get a special jacket to hug yourself (choice of colors available, although I'm partial to the white padded ones). Please pass this message on, if not your account will never be the same again once the aliens have tampered with it! It's gotta be true. I read it on facebook ...
Really people.

The same with that damn AmberAlert. It's always the same format of a license plate, but with a differing state. Don't you think, that if it was a national AmberAlert, again, it would be on the national news?

The lack of common sense, and the ability to copy and paste, and the ability to use SNOPES.com (bookmark it people and use it before copying and pasting shit) or GOOGLE.com baffles me.

Now that you have read this, I am the deposed princess of Nigeria and I have come across a large sum of money from the untimely death of my dear father, the king of Attawambu, a small seaside village in the Sahara Desert. I do not have a bank account in the US, and therefore would like to have you wire the funds to your account. The total sum is 5millions Idiobuc which is roughly 0.05 of your american dollars. You may keep 0.0001% for your troubles. I hope to here your speedy reply.

Bandstand Busking

They were awesome enough to have Frightened Rabbit perform acoustic, and FR is AWESOME. So I figured I'd check out some of their other videos. Curiosity killed the cat.

Or did it?

I found Chief.

They have an odd, circa 1970'sish sound to them. They remind me of what my mom used to listen to on the radio. Folky-bluesy type music. And they look like hippies from California. They're a pretty laid-back sound.

I couldn't find much info on them, other than they are signed by Domino Records and are from Santa Monica. I've thoroughly enjoyed their song Nice People.

So, take a listen...

Because everything should be this awesome.

When I say I admire Brad Richards, its not just for his looks or his teeth(That's a bonus, a good looking bonus). I admire him for being a standout player, a mentor to the younger guys, an unselfish player, and a guy who gives back. For more info on his foundation, go here.

Seriously folks, google 'Brad Richards Charity' (for you lazy folks, here's the link to the search). There are countless articles about him giving back. Heck, a mere 4 days after signing with the Rangers, he was taking part in the Garden of Dreams skating event.

Photo from Blueshirts United

The guy is a class act. And a great addition to NY.

Welcome home Brad Richards. Welcome Home.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Proof that Acoustic is Awesome

Story of the Year come in a super close second to Frightened Rabbit when it comes to acoustic songs. I'm talking nanometers close. Nanometers people. Nanometers.

Dan Marshall's voice is amazingly rough, and the fact that Philip Sneed can play guitar and sing and match Dan's voice is epically amazing.

Take a listen and judge for yourself... and this one too

Manchester Orchestra. 'nuff said

So this was a band that was suggested to me by Mark Stuart of the Winnipeg Jets. He's flipping amazing and my #musicsoulmate and is sadly, no longer on TWITTER. :(

Their songs are amazing. If you listen to the lyrics, they're genius. Simple Math was the first song I came across. It's such a well written song, and the lyrics are awesome. Questions that we've all have asked ourselves at one point or another.

Being that my OCDness revolves around numbers and math, it's pretty obvious that I would love this song.


What if I've been trying to get to where I've always been?
What if we've been trying to get to where we've always been?
Simple math, believe me, all is brilliant
What if we've been trying to kill the noise and silence?

A Monkey. In a tuxedo. In a Porsche.

It sounds like a bad start to a really bad joke.

But alas, it's not. It's reality. And I have witnesses and a crappy cell phone photo.



If you notice, in the rear window is said monkey, in a tux. He was playing with a spare license plate. And the back plate on the Porsche was a vanity plate, reading PRIME8.

as @kassassination confirmed, this is a #shinslist maker. For lame advertising.

Oh, we also got to see a prostitute get busted in Roswell while eating dinner out. #dinnerandashow!

Friday, September 23, 2011

B-Rad Richards


Photo (c) LisaGanskyPhotography
Pure awesomeness.

I'd LOVE to thank my dear friend Lisa G for this amazing photo. Please-respect the copyright.

The Namesake.

I found them via Google. I was looking for new music in 2008. I googled The 100 Best Tracks of 2008 and found Modern Leper, by Frightened Rabbit. As soon as I listened to it, I knew I found genius. I then listened to Old Old Fashioned, and My Backwards Walk and knew I was in love with this group. I then Youtube'd them, finding all sorts of awesomeness. Head Rolls Off was my favourite... that was until 2010 when this song came around.

Foot Shooter

As a veteran 'foot shooter' this song was me. It was awesome. I could listen to this song repeatedly. As a matter of fact, I'm listening to it now. Amazing.

Scott has a knack for writing lyrics that are amazingly descriptive. His acoustic talents are bar-none (Story of the Year is a close second. A very close second.).

I was stoked to see @BRichards_1991 recommend them on twitter (make sure to follow me too)

So, go on and take a listen to Frightened Rabbit. You wont be sorry.

Hold on to your thumbs, tighten your eyelids
Lock up your ears, my dear, I'm verbal when I am loaded
Duck under that desk, cover your neck
Thicken your skin as I begin to shoot myself in the foot again