Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Female Fans. 'An Excerpt...'

This is from an upcoming article I'm doing.

I figured I'd indulge you in a little aperçu...

When guys asked me, and still do, who my favourite players are, I tell them. If a player is remotely good looking, they assume that I like them solely based on looks. Now, while that argument does hold some truth, it is not the sole reason why I like a player. I like them based on their performance on the ice and off the ice (minds out of the gutter people). I’m talking charity, giving back, being a genuine class act. That being said, who are my favourite players, you ask? Well, since you asked so nicely I’ll indulge you…

Brad Richards – yes, setting aside his devilish good looks, he is really a talented player. Have you seen this man pass a puck? It’s a thing of beauty. I could watch video of him passing the puck for hours. He’s a humble guy, team player, and a fantastic giver-backer. Yes, that’s the technical term. +1 for charity! +1 for being able to pass the puck dead on backwards!

John-Michael Liles (Toronto) – again, yes he’s good looking. But the man is solid on D. Solid. A great play maker and knows when to step up and when to stay back. Again, he’s a great community presence in the Denver and now Toronto community. He, like Richards, did a charity event only minutes after he signed with the Leafs. Keepin’ it classy. Plus he’s ridiculously funny and watches “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. +1 for ‘hashtag JML’. And did you catch his hair last season? SICK. Give that man another +1!

Henrik Lundqvist – No explanation needed here. The man OWNS the net. + infinity, cause he’s Henrik Lundqvist!

And last but not least Mark Stuart (Winnipeg) – I remember watching him play while he was in Boston. I liked his style of play. He’s not afraid to put his body in front of the puck, and he’s not afraid to use his size and strength to win battles in the corners. When he’s on the ice, his physical presence is felt. He’s also an amazingly humble guy with awesomely epic taste in music. +1 for being my musicsoulmate!

Now I was curious. Does that classify me as a girl who likes the game solely for the players’ good looks? After several cups of coffee I came to the realization that it does not. I’ve never referred to myself, in person or on the internets as ‘Mrs Richards’ or ‘Mrs Liles’ as I’ve seen many people do. I’ve not photoshopped myself into a photo with them. The closest I’ve come is putting someone’s number at the end of my screen name or a password. I’ve never chased down a player to get an autograph to only slip them my number. I have, however, joked about blindfolding Brad Richards (solely for the purpose of seeing if his passing is really that good), and kidnapping Roman Polak… But it was all in good fun. And frankly, if anyone is strong enough to wrestle down the Polak Bear, tie him up and ship him to me, they can do it, but I wish them much luck and a speedy recovery. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good swooning every once in a while, but taking it to the point where I watch hockey only for the ‘hotness factor’ will never come. But I won’t lie, it does make for watching the interviews that much better…

Stay tuned for the complete article...

I would have played caddy...

This was just a suggestion....

Being a golfer, I would have been happy to join the Rangers at their golf outing yesterday. With my 18 holes of experience at an AIG Golf Tourney in 2008 (go ahead, insert an AIG joke. I'll wait...... done? okay, good.) and my vast mini-golfing experience would have made me a prime candidate for being a caddy.

Our whips for the day... notice the precision parking?

Just incase you needed legit proof, I'm Michelle Milne. Or was.

Plus, I's a super excellent golf cart driver. Lead foot.

But, since the Rangers heard about my golf-cart mishap (really, who keeps the carts on the paths? Sand traps are so much more fun, as are the ponds) I was asked to stay as far away as possible. Which made Marty Biron so happy...

Apparently, Dubinksy was relegated to being the ballboy.


and, of course, I couldn't leave this post without a BR shot...

2 minutes in the penalty box

I had a dream last night that I turned it into a 2 minute web series.

Genius.

Make it happen' Cap'in.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

5 Things You Never Knew About Me...

1. I speak 3 languages. Fluently. English, French, Czech, and I don't count Russian since mine is really rusty. Rustier than the Titanic.

2. I played the violin for 10 years.

3. I've read War and Peace. For fun. Cover to cover. In Russian. And understood it.

4. I have an obsession with even numbers. It's sick. So sick in fact that I can't list a 5th thing.

Monday, October 10, 2011

My Brain Would Not Shut Off...

Last night, I was up until 3:30 this morning. I had every intention of going to bed at a respectable 12:45am. But my brain, well, it had other plans.

I must've worked on writing too late at night. All these thoughts raced through my head about blogs. It was crazy. I almost thought about breaking out the Dragon Dictator on my iPhone, but the thought of speaking into it in a dark room kind of creeped me out. Not to mention, anytime I use it my accent makes for some funny sayings. Then I thought, if there was a way to harness my brain power and record what was going on... well, that probably isn't the best idea. For all of man-kind. What goes on in my head, should be filtered. Then I thought maybe I should keep a notepad and pen by the bed. But papercuts are a bitch.

I remembered most of what was going on. I had a brilliant idea for a 'Size vs Skill' blog post, and had some pretty awesome one-liners. One was about the Leafs harnessing the blue eyes of 'hashtag JML' and that it would only work if the opposing forwards were pre-pubescent girls, or Sidney Crosby. It was funnier in my head, I swear. It lost some of it's 'je ne sais quoi' over night.

What did I learn?

To not drink coffee at 11pm.

Or keep a white board by my bed. Less papercuts.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Muscle from Ostrava. Or as I Like to Call Him, My Little Poley Bear.

Little is a misnomer.

A large Czech misnomer. One that could knock you down merely by sighing too hard.

I kid you not.

Okay, I may have overdramaticized his strength. But seriously, he's fierce. And I mean that in the most masculine way. Not how Tyra means it. 'Cause even though I'm not a betting (wo)man, I can almost bet you that Roman Polak does not smize with his eyes.



You hear that folks? He has a massive upper body. Massive.



Beastly.

And he, amazingly, looked scared when he overheard Jen and Diane plotting to kidnap him to mail to me...
photo courtesy of Jen Krechel & Diane Ruff

That is the look of pure fear. Or he had gas. Your guess is as good as mine....

An Ode to the Rangers Goalies.

First there was JD.

Then John Vanbiesbrouck.

Then Mike Richter.

And now, since 2005-2006 season, we're blessed with this:


Oh my-lanta.

If you're sitting here reading this and asking yourself 'who is that fine looking man?' I pity you.

This, my dear friend, in Henrik Lundqvist. Super Goalie. Complete with a cape and sporting underwear on the outside of his pantalones.

...


Ok, now besides his obvious good looks, the man is beyond talented in the net. Unreal. Stellar. Awe-freaking-some.

Proof:


Still not convinced? I'm sorry, here's another:



And proof that he likes to eat ice cream, just like any other human. Out of a cone. With a spoon.


Friday, October 7, 2011

I could watch this for hours.

One person should not be so gosh-darn cute.

Really. It's Lethal.

I know, typical girl response. But have you seen this man pass a puck?! That is a thing of beauty. Need more proof? check here at :51. No look pass.

I'd like to blindfold him (insert bad joke here) and see how dead on he really is. With passing the puck.


#GoNYRangers

Trend it.

You know you want to.

Do it.

#GoNYRangers

While you're on Twitter, be sure to follow me and these fantastic Ranger Family.

@jcutroni
@theNYRBlog
@NYRnation
@TheWrage

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

#brownbeaut

No, I promise it's not a toilet joke. Although it could make a good one.

#brownbeaut refers to Mike Brown. Of the Maple Leafs.

Who?

Yeah, that's what I said too at first.

Well folks. Meet Mike Brown.

I could copy verbatim his stats from wikipedia, but alas, I am lazy and frankly don't feel like typing that much crap on here. So, here's the link for you to check out.

He's a forward with a mustache that has a life of its own. Apparently he is also Chuck Norris-esque.

Now, without further adieu, here are some of my TOP10 favourite #brownbeaut facts:


10. @TMLGreek #brownbeaut Mike Brown doesn't cut hit grass.... He simply stands on his porch & dares it to grow! #fact #beastmode

9. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, Mike Brown can hear it #brownbeaut

8. matthewbacola Did you know Mike Brown had a role in Star Wars? He was the force. #brownbeaut

7. JFlem20 @Bozie42 Mike Brown won american idol using only sign language #brownbeaut

6. @pitchawk: Mike Brown urinated in a semi-trucks gas tank as a joke.. that truck is now known as Optimus Prime #brownbeaut” unreal!

5.
@FazooliBarMan Mike Brown has counted to infinity .... Twice #BrownBeaut

4. chelleyschoe @Bozie42 Mike Brown can see the end of an infinity pool #brownbeaut

3. @kphillips_81 Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Mike Brown beats all 3 at the same time!

2. @ghowes12 its said if the power of a mike brown hit could be harnessed it would power all of australia for a year #brownbeaut

and my personal favourite...

1. @mkomisarek: mike brown's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because mike brown will not take sh*t from anyone. #brownbeaut



I have to admit, it was hard to pick which ones were the best, and more kept trending as I worked these in.

Awesome entertainment for the night. Awesome.

A shoutout to @armdog for making Mike Brown the Chuck Norris of #leafsnation

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Let Me Sharpen Your Shovel, Torts....

I don’t want to jam up Sean here - I think we have better players than Sean Avery, plain and simple,”

The players that are here are better than Sean Avery,” Tortorella reiterated. “ Maybe not in the role or a couple instances Sean could help us in, but they’re more versatile in a lot of different areas."

I’m trying to do this the right way, because I do not wanna keep on shoveling dirt over Sean Avery, but we have better players than Sean Avery, right now on the hockey club.



Allow me to sharpen your shovel so you can keep piling on the dirt...

Adios Sean Avery...

Let's take a look at some spectacular moments from the one and only, Sean Avery.



He's such a class act... he really is. Sloppy Avery, anyone?

Remember this gem? Again, notice how he takes the high road.

What did Giroux do to you? Putting a mic on Avery = not the best idea.

He's also an expert on French Canadians. Really. He is.

and an expert in dentistry?

Thanks to Lisa G., she reminded me of his utmost respect for goalies. And the backs of their heads. Maybe he was testing out the helmets absorption of a blow to the head?

And above all, a man who respects his fans...



So, who wants him to stay in New York?

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Today Show has failed me...

Why KLG and Hoda? WHY?


I had it on for all of about 1 minute, then I started feeling woozy, nauseous and dumb. In effort to preserve some of my braincells and sanity, I turned it off. I then watched paint dry. It's much less toxic and far more interesting.

A week filled with the Kardashians as co-hosts. While I normally enjoy my 10 o'clock hour in the am, I will not be watching this week. I can't stomach 5 days of the Kardashians.

I must find something to occupy my lost hour of the day. Maybe I'll take up shuffleboard. Or Full-Contact Crocheting.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Cameraman fail

Who thinks he got fired after this epic videography?

Or maybe he doesn't like Darius Rucker?

Narcolepsy on the job?